GirL PoEm

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.

And I can justify,
Any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon.

I can get a massage
Without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.

Can talk to my friends,
About the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
And yes, it takes long.

At least I can admit,
Whenever I am wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
At any cost.

And I don't have a problem,
Admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
An important date.

You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
With lots of gore.

Don't need instant replay,
To remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.

And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.

In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.

Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.

I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.

I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?

[got this from an email]